Well, life is full of comparison, it's very unavoidable.. isn't it?
To be which sounds awkward, what do I mean by to be which?
My question is, "to be first in d lasts, or last in d firsts?"
I start of this passage with life is full of comparison, a lot of us striving to be number one. Or I would say, part of d top among d crowds.
Only with this number one, we r able to grant ourselves a passport to a lot of doors of opportunities. Career opportunity, status, citizenship, residency, n relationship also maybe? Much depends on what kinda passport u holding then in this case..
There's also a saying, in order for one to improve, he has got to mix with d ppl better than him. Or in another way, mix with who u wanna be.
Because of this trait, I have a doubt in my head as I'm just a moderate person. should I be in d last in d top batches, or should I be d first in d last?
Why I have this doubt because I don't stationary in one place, I'm striving to be number one, at d same time I get bored fast.. so I am one who keeps moving n migrating from time to time n now it's time to look for a new place to move.
Frankly speaking I ain't that bad when I'm in those worse one, maybe a bit proud, but I'm glad to say that. Not that I'm born smarter or as clever as Einstein, but I'm able to learn fast, as long as I like what I do. So d effort to be d first may not be that hard.
But when I go to d elite group, then I find myself not so competent to be one of d tops n may get eliminated easily. But no doubt, I will be able to learn more..
Somehow I don't mind being d last in d elite, ultimately I just seek for more improvement n gonna continue jumping around after I get bored. But because of d yearn to be d top, I find myself quite stressful to compete with them. n may even get depressed n want to give up.
Sometimes ago I talked to my friend, he said he would rather be d first in d last, because d stress level would be totally different. I would say I quite agree with that point too. But there will be no improvement in this case.
So, should I continue to look for d elite group to be eliminated? Or should I look for d dregs to be d first?
