There was once, quite some time ago, I argued with a friend of mine, saying money is so much more important than everything else. because there is a saying: money is not everything, but without money, u cannot do anything..
Today, I'm sick, since last Saturday, for about 6 days d continously. Obviously, it doesn't get any better, but got worse.. sat was just a little sore throat, Monday night I got fever, n d fever comes back on n off until today. N my throat, from slightly sore throat, to now my eyes would get wet every time I swallow. I don't feel like eating at all, firstly, I'm not hungry, secondly, I would rather die than to ask me to swallow right now. I eat just for d sake of taking medicine after food. well, I don't seem to get any thinner even after so many days of not eating..
I always seem tough, I do everything by myself, I try not to ask for help whenever possible. But today, just merely a sore throat defeated me. I can't control my tears but they just dripped out like that. it's not that I was crying, but it's like a thousands needles poking d throat n I could imagine d scene is just so bloody.. this kinda pain is so unbearable, especially when I have to face all these alone, just by myself..
I have to get up, go n buy lemon, squeeze so hard on d lemon to make lemon juice, I have to find my medicine when my eyes already cannot open, I have to get up n off my fan when I feel cold at night, I have to boil water n refill myself when my legs r so weak, I have to crawl to get some food before it's time for medicine, I have to wet my own handkerchief to pat on my forehead n doze off, I have to wake up in d middle of d night to take away my wet handkerchief that still padding on my forehead..
I wish u could be here with me, to tell me: be strong girl, I will take care of u. n after u recover, we go n eat curry fish head, fried chicken, sweet sour crab etc etc together, OK? D true fact is, my wallet is beside me n it's d only companion that I have for now n forever. It's lying lifelessly beside me n as if telling me, u only got me..refill me, n I will go anywhere u want me to go with u..
Now I can feel it, actually health is really much more important than anything else.. although I always live like there's no tomorrow, I express my feelings, my love, I try to live life to d fullest, as I keep on seeing those aged ppl leaving us to another better world, those accidents happen just like that without a hint.. but I couldn't really feel it until this moment, right here, right now..
frankly, without a healthy body, we r just like a suffering soul in an useless shell.. I'm not afraid of death, but frankly, I'm so afraid of suffering in pain..
